Surviving strong

I’m sitting here with my husband watching naked and afraid on Hulu. These people are so strong. I like to think “oh yeah I could do this, no problem. I’d love it, it’d be a blast, like back county camping!” But in all reality, I’d probably tap. Quicker than anything. For one, I’m way too self conscious to go naked, but putting that aside… they start with nothing, and have to find and make everything they need. It makes me stop and really think… if I was there, out in the wild, no way out, no food or water, no house, no clothes to protect me, no shoes… I’m imagining the mud under my toes, I’m picturing standing on a beach in the middle of the night during a thunderstorm. I’m thinking how crazy bitchy I get when I didn’t eat yesterday and I need a shower. I’m thinking about how I feel when I have a billion things to do and no motivation to do anything, being bored with all there is to do. Wanting to be alone and craving company at the same time. And then I try to put all that together, and I can’t.

But it makes me excited to push my limits, gives me some sort of concept of a goal. I’m reflecting on the mindfulness class I’m taking, and realizing how useful it really could be. I’m getting excited about the master naturalist class I’m starting next week, and about how I’ll be able to apply all this knowledge from both classes into the life I want to have. I’m motivated and dreaming of adventures. I’m getting lost in my wanderlust.

I have big plans brewing. Here’s to making it happen. I’m going to live more by the phrase that’s deep in my heart… live the life you love, and love the life you live.

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